Here's some things you can do to liven up YOUR Thanksgiving dinner:
** When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught!" and refuse to say anything more.
** Bring a date to dinner that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
** During the dinner, turn to your mom and say, "See, mom? I *told* you they wouldn't notice the turkey was beyond the expiration date! You were worried about nothing!"
I Figure: When Uncle Jed starts a talkin all his crap at table this year on thanks givin, I'mma go straight to his jaw - then i'mma pass Granny the mashed purtaters!
My family's always been kind of dysfunctional about Thanksgiving. Instead of roast turkey, our main course has always been Wild Turkey.